


grabbed by the mountain

by LoyalMule



Series: Stuck [2]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Medical Procedures, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 19:03:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17391941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoyalMule/pseuds/LoyalMule
Summary: Meredith woke up, half sitting up, resting on her forearms. Panting. 'A dream. Again, a dream. Will they never end?' There was a shift in her bed she didn’t recognise, and a slight leaning to her left side. She turned her head to see what caused the shift. 'Oh… Andrew?' Andrew was sleeping next to her. In her house. In her bed. 'Why was he here? He was here last night. Why was he still here?'





	1. December 5th- morning

**Author's Note:**

> there is a norwegian song (det var du- it was you) based of a poem, Bergteken translating into grabbed by the mountain. i find the poem to suit mer and andrew very beautifully
> 
> Love held me captive  
> It carried me in the mountain deep  
> Here it is not the noise  
> But the calm, that fills my mind
> 
> It was not power nor glory  
> Or gold or glitter, that pulled me in  
> No, it was you alone  
> That so completely captivated my mind
> 
> It was not peaceful days  
> I rather find that somewhere else  
> But this, when you are near me  
> It makes my mind joyful
> 
> No one shall call me out  
> In here is the captive free  
> Here is where the heart belongs  
> Here I am, here I want to stay
> 
> the poem doesn't really have anything to do with the story, but I suddenly had to decide a title for the story..
> 
> Edited by Meangirlsx at Tumblr.  
> .................................................

_Oh, God… Hands, warm hands, big hands, a man’s hands. Whose hands? Hands everywhere, all over me, my body. Only two hands, but touching me everywhere all at once. A mouth. A mouth kissing me, on my shoulder, on my neck, nibbling at my ear. Lips against mine, a lick of a tongue. A taste of something familiar. I’ve tasted this mouth before. A tickle of a beard on my lips, a bearded scratch on my chin. Andrew! Andrew’s hands on my body. Andrew’s lips on mine. How does he manage to touch me everywhere – his hands are on my thighs, my waist, my breasts, my face – all at the same time? His body is so close to mine, so warm, so soft yet so strong. I can feel my heartbeat through my chest. How I’ve been wanting this, been needing this. Having someone close to me. Having someone worshipping me, my body. Having Andrew worshipping my body. I would let him do anything with me. I could let myself go completely with him. I can feel him pressed against my thigh, his warmth. I want it, I wa.._

Meredith woke up, half sitting up, resting on her forearms. Panting. _A dream. Again, a dream. Will they never end? Waking up hot and breathless time and time again._ She sighed, frustrated, laying back down on the bed. Something felt different this time. What was the difference this time? The dream felt real in a way they never had before, almost like this wasn’t just her imagination. There was a shift in her bed she didn’t recognise, and a slight leaning to her left side. She turned her head to see what caused the shift. _Oh…_ _Andrew?_ Andrew was sleeping next to her. In her house. In her bed _. Why was he here? He was here last night. Why was he still here?_ Her mind was foggy with sleep and arousal. Confused, she tried to remember why Andrew was sleeping soundly next to her.

It had been the first night Andrew had come over to her house. He had stayed at her house before, when he was dating Maggie, and after Sam had left. The difference this time, had been that, this time he had stayed for her. With her. In her bed. This was the first night they had spent together. He wasn’t supposed to stay for the night. It was too early for anyone to find out, least of all her kids. This thing with Andrew was nowhere near telling her kids. A couple of people knew at the hospital, she knew that. Dr. Lincoln, Linc, and her patient Cece Colvin. Both had seen it before she had and had both more or less told her to go for it. Cece had made a remarkable recovery after her surgery and had been discharged a few days ago. Now there was only Linc who knew. But whatever it was she and Andrew had right now, it was too new for announcements. Meredith felt they still needed time to figure out their relationship, and time was not something they had had yet. It had been a few weeks since the whole incident with the powerlines and the elevator, and Meredith’s decision to act on her attraction. They had only had time to go out a couple of times between then and now. Dinner the first time, drinks the second time, chaste kisses at the end. Slightly awkward dates, the first one more so than the second. Maybe the alcohol on the second date made the awkwardness a little less awkward? Maybe it was just Meredith who felt it? Andrew had seemed perfectly comfortable, asking her about this and that, her kids, her internship, residency. He hadn’t touched the more sensitive subjects, such as parental family, sensing she would raise her walls if he did.

It’s a strange dance, that of being in love with someone you don’t really know. Falling in love might be a too strong of a statement at this moment. Meredith wasn’t really sure what this was, now. Maybe falling in attraction was a more appropriate statement. She knew she was in love with Andrew, but actually thinking the words felt too strong for her. She’d only said the words out loud once before, after which she had buried them inside, to be taken out at a later point. Much later. Meaning not right now. Meredith did know Andrew. She knew his gentle spirit and kind nature. But she knew him as Dr. DeLuca, and he, her as Dr. Grey. What she didn’t know were the everyday things about Andrew, his likes and dislikes. His favourite foods or films, allergies?

The last date, if you can call it that, was yesterday, the third date. Meredith didn’t really count that as a date, though. It was a walk. He walked her home from the hospital after their shift. Her babysitter had said the kids were put to bed, sleeping, so Meredith had invited him in for a beer. Things had progressed, clothes had been discarded throughout the house, and now she found herself having reminiscent dreams about the man sleeping peacefully next to her. _Hot and bothered_ , and he wasn’t supposed to stay over. She told him as much last night. He must have been tired. They both had. But now he needed to get up and get out, before the kids woke up. She leaned on her elbow, nudging his shoulder.

“Andrew,” she whispered. “You need to wake up.” She nudged him again. “Andrew.”

Meredith froze. She heard footsteps in the hallway.

“Good mo...” Andrew’s still half-sleeping body made to move towards Meredith.

“Shhhh!!!” Meredith threw an index finger on his lips, interrupting Andrew’s intended morning greeting. Just as the door handle was turned, Meredith threw the blanket and a pillow over Andrew’s head.

“Mommy! You overslept. Again,” Zola accused while steeping in the room, already dressed for the day. Meredith threw a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table, _8:30, shit!_

“I know, baby, I’m sorry.” Meredith sat up, her mind praying Andrew wouldn’t move. Oversleep and explain the man in her bed was not a combination nor conversation she wanted to have right now. “Go and wake up Bailey and Ellis. I’ll be downstairs in a minute.”

“It’s the second time this week.” Zola crossed her arms over her chest, like a parent would berate their child.

“I know, I know. I’m coming,” Meredith said, getting out of the bed and making sure to throw more of the blanket over Andrew. She picked up an oversized tee from the chair next to the ensuite door and pulled it over her head.

Zola turned on her heel and made her way down the hall. Meredith walked over and closed the door. She turned her back to the door, leaning towards the bed. “Are you awake?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” a sleepy, muffled sound came from underneath the mini mountain on the bed. Andrew poked his head out, his dark hair ruffled by sleep. He yawned. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep.”

“It’s fine, just stay here, and be quiet.” She leaned over the bed to give him a small kiss. “I’ve got to get the kids off to school. I’ll be back soon.”

 

Meredith walked hurriedly down the stairs, picking up odd pieces of clothing from yesterday. A sock, a blouse, a shoe. Walking into the kitchen, she quickly discarded the bundle of clothes behind the door. She walked over to the kitchen island, where she’d left her phone last night, and picked it up. She found Amelia’s number and pressed call. While it rang, she opened the fridge door. Almost empty, except for a couple of cartons of milk, a few vegetables, and a box of leftovers.

“Hey, Amelia, are you on your way to work? We overslept.” Opening the box, it looked like some kind of pie _. The kids must have made it yesterday_ . _That’ll do._ “Zola, hurry,” she called. “Yes, I know it’s the second time this week. Zola reminded me.”

“Coming!” Zola called back. Bailey came running into the kitchen, followed by Zola carrying Ellis. _She has too much responsibility for a nine-year-old._ “Thank you, Amelia, I owe you one!” Meredith put the phone down. She took the pie out of the container and placed three pieces on to three plates.

“Aunt Amelia will drive you to school.” She said as she placed the plates in front of her kids on the island.

“Mommy, this is blueberry pie.” Zola stared at the plate.

“I know... It’s either that or a tomato...” Meredith joked.

Zola glared at Meredith for a moment, contemplating the choices. “I don’t like tomatoes,” she said, taking a bite of the pie. Bailey and Ellis gladly dug into the dessert-breakfast. Meredith stood watching her kids while they ate, losing herself in thought. She was quickly pulled back to reality by a car honking outside.

“Amelia. Shoes. Jacket. Car,” Meredith said. The kids ran out before her.

Meredith came out to the hallway. Zola was zipping up Ellis’s jacket. “Bags?” she asked. Zola nodded. “I don’t deserve you, Zola.” She smiled.

“No, you don’t.” Zola smiled back. That was a recurring conversation in the Grey household.

Amelia came through the door, not bothering to knock before walking in. “What did you get for breakfast this morning?” she asked Bailey cheerfully, knowing the answer wouldn’t be a sandwich or oatmeal.

“Blueberry pie!” Bailey squealed happily.

Amelia laughed. At least the kids were fed something before school.

“Ready?” Amelia asked Zola.

“Yeah,” she said, walking out the door. “There is a man in mommy’s bed,” she told Amelia.

Meredith’s face grew cold. _Shit!_

“What?” Amelia turned to Meredith. “Who?” Amelia had a look of pleasant intrigue in her eyes.

“N… no one. There’s... there’s nobody in my bed…” Meredith slightly stammered. _How does she know? He was under the blanket._ “Of course there isn’t a man in my bed,” she said a little more forcefully, trying to sound convincing. _Always with the denial…_

“Right…” Amelia dragged out the word, eyeing Meredith. She turned to walk out the door, asking Zola “Did you see who it is?”

“No, just his feet.” She swung her bag over her shoulder. “He has big feet.”

“Well.. you know what they say about men with big feet?” Amelia mumbled, not thinking she was talking to a nine-year-old.

“What?” Zola asked just as Meredith called out “Amelia!” Amelia looked down at Zola, realising.

“Eh... They have big hearts,” she answered just before she closed the door behind her.

 

Meredith stood and watched the closed door for several moments, after she heard the car drive away. _Oh God… oh God, oh God… This is not how I wanted this morning to play out. At least Amelia doesn’t know who..._

She heard footsteps behind her. Andrew sneaked his arms around her, nuzzled his nose in her silky hair behind her ear. “You smell so good.” He whispered. “I heard the car drive off. Thought it might be safe to come out.”

“Zola saw your feet.” Meredith laughed lightly at the ridiculousness of what just happened.

“Yeah, I felt a breeze on my feet after you pulled the cover over me,” Andrew mumbled into her hair,  kissing her neck.

She turned around in his arms, placing her hands on his chest. “You knew they were out, why didn’t you pull them under the cover?”

“I didn’t want to move. I was just hoping they wouldn’t be that visible. Guess I was wrong,” he chuckled.

He leaned down to kiss her. Andrew relished in the feeling of being allowed to hold her, kiss her, touch her. Touch her bare legs. One arm around her shoulders, he moved his other hand underneath her shirt, up to her lower back. Meredith’s body responded to his touch, pulling herself closer to him. _Every time we touch the world is set on fire. I could stay in these arms always._ There was a tingle in her body. The feeling she woke up with this morning quickly returned. Maybe it hadn’t disappeared completely over the last twenty minutes, just been dormant. Meredith felt his hands move on her back, underneath her shirt, stroking her. She held onto Andrew’s arms, letting him have control, feeling she was close to losing it. His mouth on hers, his tongue dancing with hers. She felt a hand in her hair. Her head felt dizzy. She didn’t notice his hands move over her body. They seemed to be everywhere at once. She felt her hands hold onto his head, pulling him closer, taking a step backwards towards the living room, bringing him with her. Another step. And another.

The door swung open. In shock, they broke apart, Meredith turned around to see an open-mouthed Amelia standing in the doorway.

“Oh. My. God!”

“Amelia, wha…?” Meredith tried pulling her shirt down, attempting to compose herself. She threw a hand up to her head, trying to smooth down her hair.

“… Zola forgot her math book…” Amelia said somewhat absentmindedly, staring at Andrew’s bare chest.

“It’s in the living room. I’ll get it…” Meredith’s face felt hot. She quickly made her way into the living room.

She heard Amelia laughing behind her, “Good on you, DeLuca!” She punched Andrews shoulder.

Meredith found the book on the table. She walked back and handed it to Amelia, not looking at her, hoping the ground would swallow her.

“Good on you, Mer!” Amelia was still laughing, walking out the door. “About time you got some.”

_Oh God…_

A quiet minute went by. Meredith was trying to gather her mind again, scattered by the arousal brought on by Andrew and the shock of Amelia suddenly being in the doorway.

“Coffee?” Meredith asked. She started walking to the kitchen.

“Sure.” Andrew followed.

Meredith was abruptly aware of the slight mess in the kitchen: a couple stacks of plates, glasses on the counter, the beer bottles they had last evening.

“I don’t really have any breakfast, but there’s some blueberry pie the kids made yesterday, if you want…” Meredith said somewhat absently. She didn’t really know why, but she felt a need to put back some distance. She didn’t want to; she wanted to keep Andrew close. But something about Amelia finding this out just now didn’t sit right with Meredith. Her subconscious needed the distance.

_It’s not like Amelia will tell the whole hospital. She’s got enough in her own life going on, with Owen, Betty and the whole foster mom process. Why do I suddenly feel the need to push Andrew away? I don’t want to…_ Meredith loaded the coffee machine and pushed the button. The machine started snoring, delivering the water through the machine. She stood watching the black liquid drip inside the pot. _Why did we fall asleep? This is too soon._

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at Andrew. He was dressed. Apparently during the time she had disappeared in her mind, he had disappeared into the living room to find his shirt that had been discarded there last night.

“Have you seen my other sock and shoe?” he asked her, smile in his eyes.

She pointed towards where she had hid them earlier. “Over there.” She watched Andrew walk over to the pile of clothes peeking out from behind the door.

“I should go,” he said, kneeling down to pull on his sock and shoe. “My bike is still at the hospital, and I’m supposed to meet Dr. Mead about the apartment in an hour.” He got up and walked over to her.

Meredith nodded, unable to say anything. What was she supposed to say? It’s just that uncomfortable feeling of things escalating too quickly _. But is it, though? Probably not. So Amelia knows, now. What’s the worst that can happen? She’ll tell someone? Would that be the end of the world? It’s not like we’re doing something we aren’t allowed to do. Why can’t I shake this feeling off?_

“I’m sorry, Andrew.”

“There is nothing to be sorry about. I get it, I do.” He tucked her hair behind her ear.

_Why is he so understanding?_ Meredith closed her eyes. She leaned her face into his hand, trying to tell him she’ll be fine, this will be fine.

“I’ll see you later?” she asked.

“Yes.” He leaned down to kiss her, first on her lips, then on her forehead. _He makes me feel safe._

Andrew left. Meredith took a cup and poured herself some coffee. There was still some coffee dripping from the filter, and the pot burner hissed when the wet coffee drops landed.


	2. later the same day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story goes more in a medical direction than I had anticipated. I really enjoy writing medicine, though I do not have any real medical knowledge. I do try to do my reaserch thoroughly. 
> 
> the song at the end is I Do by Sigrid Bernson
> 
> Chapter is edited by Meangirlsx at tumblr.  
> ................................................................

Meredith arrived at the hospital a few hours later. Between Andrew leaving the house, and Meredith leaving for work, the house had felt so quiet. It’s always quiet after the kids leave for school, but this morning, it felt so very different, like something was missing. Aside from the slight panic about Andrew still being there this morning, and hiding him from Zola, Meredith had liked him being there when she woke up. She had felt well-rested and calm in a way she hadn’t in a long while. Her mind had pondered this feeling over the two hours she’d been alone. She’d had a shower, she ate some dessert-breakfast pie, and her mind wouldn’t stop replaying the morning's events.

Meredith walked through the ER, hearing ‘dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh...” singing quietly over the radio. _Christmas time, again... I never used to like Christmas. Having Zola and Derek changed that. I’ve enjoyed Christmas for the sake of my kids. But it hasn’t been the same since Derek died..._

On her way in, she met Taryn Helm, one of the interns. She carried a pad, having prepared the morning's charts.

“What do we got today?” Meredith asked.

“Not much. It’s pretty quiet today, spooky quiet... but there is a scheduled gallbladder removal at 1:00. Mrs. Johnson. 51 years old, diabetic, presented with reoccurring attacks of biliary colic over the last three years. No abnormality findings in the exter….”

Meredith was only half listening to Helm talking about the patient’s history. She would read the chart herself before surgery, and it was a procedure she had done more than several times before. She lost herself in thought. Flashbacks from last night, hands touching, lips kissing, teeth nibbling. She felt like she could still feel his hands on her body, still feel his lips on hers, still hear his breath. _Did I overreact this morning? I probably did overreact. So what if Amelia knows? So what if anyone knows? It’s not their business. Why would they care? Because this is Grey Sloan, and gossip travels faster here than on E! News. People would make it their business. But it’s just Amelia, not the entire hospital. And Linc. And Cece... Wait, what?_ Meredith stopped. _What did Helm just say?_

“Wait, what?? How many gallstones?” Meredith asked.

Helm smiled mischievously. “We’re estimating about 100 gallstones.”

“Wow!” Meredith smiled. _Interesting_.

“You want to enter the pool?” Helm handed Meredith the pad showing the X-ray of the gallbladder. The scan showed an enlarged gallbladder with several almost-white coloured dots. Helm was right, there were at least 100 stones.

“We don’t bet on patients,” Meredith said, though not serious. She was well aware of the different pools going on at the hospital. She had participated herself in several of them over the years. But as chief of general surgery she couldn’t just openly accept bets on patients.

“The pool is up to 200 bucks. Dr. DeLuca has the highest bid at 151 stones,” Helm said as they walked up to the attendings’ lounge.

Meredith looked at the X-ray again. _Maybe I can, just this time._ “Put a 20 on 152.” She opened the door and walked in.

 

Meredith closed the door behind her and stopped dead in her tracks. Amelia was sitting on the couch with Maggie. Amelia was looking slyly at Meredith, who felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Good morning, Meredith.” Amelia smiled innocently. _Good morning, my ass…_

“Good morning, Amelia. Maggie.” Meredith promptly didn’t look at Amelia. She walked over to the counter and poured herself a cup of coffee, the fourth one this morning.

“Had a good night sleep?” Amelia asked, with an undertone of knowing exactly how Meredith’s night had been.

“Fine.” Meredith buried her face in the cup.

“I’m sure it was.” Amelia smirked.

Maggie looked at Meredith, then at Amelia, and back at Meredith again, furrowing her brows. “What’s going on….?”

“Nothing, absolutely nothing,” Meredith answered quickly. Amelia laughed.

“Something’s going on, and you are leaving me out,” Maggie said.

“It’s nothing, Maggie. Really,” Meredith said looking at Maggie. _Change the subject._ “Amelia, how’s Betty?” She took another sip of the coffee.

“She’s fine. She’s back in school. She’s behaving,” Amelia said, somewhat proudly. “She seems to like her new room. I think maybe knowing someone wants to be her parent makes her want to be better. To be clean. We have a meeting with a social worker tomorrow.”

“That’s good to hear. She’s a good girl.”

Meredith’s phone pinged. It was a message from Karev, asking to talk to her.

 

“What’s up?” Meredith asked, stepping into Karev’s recently occupied Chief of Surgery’s office.

Karev was sitting behind the desk, looking at a folder. The desk was messy, much more than when Bailey had been Acting Chief. Stacks of papers. _Impressive, seeing as we don’t really use that much paper anymore._ A couple of days’ worth of coffee cups stood around the desk on what should have been empty spots. Meredith looked down at the name tag that used to say ‘ _Miranda Bailey GS’_ , now taped over and written ‘ _Dr. A. Karev’_ in a felt tip pen.

“You know, a few years ago when I was involved in the African project. One of my contacts from then, Tom McGee, is working in India now,” Karev started explaining. Meredith sat down on the opposite chair.

“He has found a girl.” Karev had a look of excitement in his eyes, the kind of look surgeons get when they’ve struck surgical gold. “Her name is Anika. Named by the village after the goddess Durga. She’s four years old. Her parents live in a remote village in southeast India, where religion is knowledge. The village believes she’s a goddess reincarnated. Her parents want the best for their kid, but the village caused problems when the parents left for the hospital in Bangalore.”

“Why?” Meredith asked, her interest piqued.

“She has eight limbs.” Karev handed her the paper chart.

Meredith gawked at him. “Parasitic twin?” This was not what she had expected. She flipped through the pages, quickly eyeing notes here and there.

“Yes. The paediatric hospital in Bangalore has made an initial examination on the girl and says an operation for separation could be possible. But it is a very complex surgery. The surgeons in India don’t feel they have the skills needed to perform this surgery.”

“So, he wants to bring her here.” Meredith’s insides were tingling in anticipation of a possible surgical challenge.

“Yes. He has raised enough funds to bring the family here, and half of what the surgery will cost. I’ve looked at the hospitals budget, but we don’t have the funds to pay the remaining. So, I wanted to ask you if...”

“Of course I will do it,” Meredith cut him off.

“Thanks, Mer. They arrive in a few days. It will be you, me and Shepard as the main surgeons. I’ve already talked to Shepard. You and Shepard will pick your team. It is estimated the surgery will take about 20 hours. You will work in shifts, doing your respective parts. And I will be in the OR during the whole surgery.”

…..

Meredith sat in a little room she had adopted as her office. Though she was Chief of General Surgery, she wasn’t assigned an office of her own. This room was rarely used, and it had a computer there. On cases like this, the rare and complicated ones, she preferred to work in there. Undisturbed by the endless questions from interns, patients, noises from the intercoms. Just herself and four walls.

She was looking at the scans from India. She held the sheet up against the lamp in the ceiling, leaning back in her chair, studying it, seeing the misshapen cervix. The parasitic twin had grown from the cervix between the girl's legs, the twin’s legs came out just under her own, and then what would have been the abdominal region with the arms of the twin. It grew almost as a mirror of the girl herself. The twin didn’t have a head. It was just dead limbs growing from where her crotch would have been. The X-ray showed the twin didn’t have any organs except for a kidney. The girl herself did only have one.

There was a knock on the door. It was Andrew.

“Hey, Andrew. Have a look at this." She handed him the X-ray. He held it up to the lamp.

“Oh, God. Is that a parasitic twin?” he asked, astounded.

“Yup.” She popped the ‘P.'

“I’ve never seen that. It’s pretty rare. How did you come across this case?” There was a grain of longing to join the case in his voice. He handed the sheet back to Meredith.

“Alex. Some years ago, he oversaw the Africa project. That’s how we met Zola. One of his contacts found this girl in India. They’re bringing them to the US in a few days.” Meredith felt excited.

“So, seems your morning was good then.” Andrew smiled.

Meredith put the sheet back in the folder. She crossed her arms on the table, leaning her upper body on her elbows. She smiled back at him.

“Yeah... How was the apartment?”

“Fine, a little worn, but it’s a place of my own. Got the keys today.”

Silence. This was how it usually was. They’ll talk for a bit. Then they run out of conversation and there is a slightly awkward silence. Or at least Meredith thought so, although she started to feel a little easier about it. Andrew’s eyes were on her, she felt them. A flash from last night crossed her mind.

“Stop looking at me like that.” She turned her head back down to read the chart.

“Like what?” he asked, smiling. _I think he knows what he does to me. I think he enjoys it._

“Like I’m the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen,” she said towards the chart on the table.

“Well... you are,” he said honestly.

“Pfft…“ Meredith refused to look at him. “Don’t you have a shift to get to?" she asked him, smiling, but hiding it in the chart.

“Yeah, I do.” He looked over his shoulder, to see if anyone was paying attention to him, where he stood leaning in the doorway. When he saw no one was, he stepped into the makeshift office. He put a hand underneath her chin and lifted her face up to meet his. He kissed her. Not intensely, but it still made Meredith’s belly flutter. _Andrew, not here..._ but her mouth had a mind of its own and reciprocated the kiss. They parted, but still stood forehead to forehead, noses touching, breathing lightly.

“What are the chances I get to see you after work?” he asked her quietly, seductively.

“Slim,” she answered him. “Now. Go. I have to read this,” she said, pointing to the folder lying on the table.

Andrew laughed lightly, turned around, and left her to her work.

An hour went by, and Meredith had to leave the folder for the gallbladder surgery. Meredith stood scrubbing in before surgery, scrubbing the sterile sponge ten times over both sides of her hands. She was counting in her head, one, two, three, until she reached ten, then moved on to the next area. Ten times on each side of each digit, careful not to go back to an already sterile area. Helm stood next to her doing the same thing. They’ve stood quietly, Helm sneaking glances at Meredith.

“What is it? I can feel your eyes on me,” Meredith said, looking down. She had moved her focus from her hands to her arms, starting at her wrists, where hand meets arm.

“Sorry!” Helm mumbled nervously. “It’s just that... uhm... You look... uhm...”

“Capable?” Meredith said raising an eyebrow at Helm.

She laughed nervously. “Heh... no, I mean... different, glowing? No... uhm… relaxed... yes, relaxed.”

Meredith didn’t say anything. _Different... Andrew is what’s different. Last night is what is different... Can people tell already that something is new in my life?_

Meredith carefully rinsed off her arms, sliding her arms through the stream, hands first, letting the water drip down her elbows. Then she turned off the tap with her foot on the switch by the floor. She walked backwards into the OR with her hands held up in front of her chest. She was given a towel to dry of her hands. A nurse dressed her in a scrub gown. She was helped to put gloves and a mask on by another. Meredith walked up to the patient. The patient was already put under anaesthesia. One of the nurses had put a sheet over the patient, with just a square cut out over the operating area on the right side of the patient’s abdomen. Helm swabbed the area with iodine, a brownish liquid used to sterilize the surgical area.

“Ten blade," Meredith called out, and was handed a scalpel, a Stanley knife no. 10, by one of the nurses. She made the initial incision.

 

Meredith was at home. It was late. The kids were in bed and asleep. The surgery took only an hour and a half, and she had left work shortly after. Though the gallbladder was massively enlarged, there were no complications during the surgery. Meredith left Helm to close, and to count the gallstones. Though this surgery was purely routine, gallstones always fascinated Meredith. The stones come in all shapes and sizes, from a few millimetres to golf ball-sized. These had been smooth and uniform in the shape, medium-sized, and a dark cream colour. Almost looked like pebbles, or for the hungry one, caramels. After Meredith had come home, Helm texted, saying the stones had come up to 149, meaning DeLuca had had the closest guess and won the pot.

Meredith was walking around the house, feeling restless. Plucking a toy here and there and putting it somewhere else, not really cleaning, just moving things around. The feeling of weird quiet fell over her again, like it had this morning. She picked up her phone and looked at the black screen for a moment, contemplating. _Should I? No._ She put the phone down again. Meredith walked into the kitchen, moving things around, plates, bottles. She looked inside the fridge, staring at the contents, not feeling hungry, just in the mood for something. _Something… what? Something sweet…? No._ She closed the fridge door.

 _Dance it out. Dance the weirdness away. Distraction._ She went back into the living room, picked up her phone, and put on the first song on the list. The song started with a slow rhythmic beat. Meredith moved slowly, hips swaying with the beat, hands above her head.

 _‘I’ve been waiting to tell you how you’ve taken my heart_ ’ the female voice sang. Meredith’s mind turned to Andrew, while she danced alone in her living room. Thinking of him, the warmth he radiates. How his hands have touched her body. A small thought she almost didn’t register went through her mind: this wasn’t the distraction she had set out for, this was quite the opposite. Her hands touched her face, stroked herself down her neck, over her breasts, hugged herself around her waist, mimicking the way her mind wanted Andrew to touch her, swaying to the music.

‘ _All I want is you, just your kisses.’_ His lips on hers, kissing her. Tasting his tongue on hers, she remembered his particular taste, always with a hint of menthol. His lips on her mouth, on her cheek, on her neck. The tingling at the bottom of her belly. ‘ _I die for the way you say my name, I do_ .’ _Meredith… Meredith…_ the seductive way Andrew always said her name echoed through her mind. The thought of him breathing her name in her ear sent shivers down her spine. She felt arousal rise within her, her breathing a little more laboured, heavier. Her hands moved down her upper body, fingers started playing with the waistband of her pants. Not where she had hoped the dance would have brought her indeed, but she continued dancing. Swaying, her hazy mind trying to decide if she would let her hands continue their journey. ‘ _I die for the way you keep me warm at night’_. The words of the lyric made Meredith’s mind up. She stopped her dance, and walked over to pick up her phone on the table. She opened ‘Contacts’, found Andrew’s number, and typed.

‘ _I want you to be here when I wake up. Come over after your shift, I’ll leave door open._ ’ She looked at the message for a second, then she pressed send.

By the time Andrew had finished at the hospital and come over to Meredith’s house, Meredith had fallen asleep. She didn’t hear him enter the front door. When he opened her bedroom door, she became slightly aware of movements in her room that she wasn’t used to. The ruffling of clothes being taken off. The shift in her bed as he laid down on her left side. The kiss he gave her forehead and his arm sneaking underneath her head, pulling her closer to him. The feeling of restlessness subsided, and Meredith fell back into deep sleep more relaxed.


	3. about a week later....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned before, I don't have any medical knowledge. I just find it all very interesting and tried to do thorough research
> 
> chapter is edited by MeanGirlsx at tumblr

For the next week or so, this had become the new normal. Andrew would come over at night and leave early before the kids woke up. After the first three nights, Meredith stopped texting him to come over. He came anyway. Some nights Meredith had fallen asleep before he’d come, like the first night. Other nights, she was awake. One night, they had gone from the hospital together. Something about having Andrew sleeping next to Meredith made her barrier slowly lower, and the conversations started to flow more naturally. She wouldn’t completely let her walls down for him, but the door was left slightly ajar now. The feeling of not always knowing what to say felt easier. She could say anything to him. Meredith knew that. But she didn’t want to. It felt too soon to start sharing her deepest demons. Right now, at this moment, she was happy just to have him there when she wakes up in the morning. For the first week Andrew had had his own place, he hadn’t spent one night there.

Taryn Helm hadn’t been the only one to notice a change in Meredith. Comments had been coming from both nurses, doctors and long-term patients. She seemed more relaxed, happier, content. Meredith didn’t really think about it like that, she only knew the last week she had slept better than she had in a long time. 

It was Friday morning, and Anika and her family would be checked in at the hospital. They had arrived in the US a couple of days earlier, but Tom McGee had thought it best to let the family settle in a bit in the very busy city of Seattle, before starting the process at the hospital. McGee had been at the hospital yesterday, to meet with leading doctors, Karev, Shepherd, and Meredith Grey. McGee was tall, strongly built with a thin frame, and spoke with a British accent. He wore a scruffy looking beard on his face, dark blonde, same as his wildly grown hair.  _ If he trimmed all that hair, he could be a good-looking guy _ , Meredith thought to herself.

McGee had told them about how he found Anika. While traveling through the outskirts of Mumbai, he had met a man. A poor man who expressed his only wish to find the goddess incarnate, to be allowed to touch her once. If he could do that, he would be free from this life in poverty. It sounded like an urban myth, but it intrigued McGee. He knew enough about rural beliefs in India, especially amongst the poor, to know if someone was claiming a god had been born among people, there would be some kind of truth in that, the truth most often very tragic to the one being cast as a god.

He had started searching for her, asking around in villages, and eventually got closer to the myth. After almost a year of searching, four months ago, he had found her. After a lot of conversation and convincing the parents and the village elders, he brought her to the hospital in Bangalore. The rest, Meredith already knew — it had been in the chart. Test and x-rays, showing the girl was in general good health, considering, and that a surgery would be possible. But the surgery would be complicated, and too dangerous in India. A surgery like this had never been done in India before and the surgeons there didn’t want to risk her life when there could be a safer option. Life expectancy for the girl living with the parasite would be about another six years, until she was ten years old. During surgery, she could die. But if she had the parasite successfully removed, she could live a full life.              

The four of them wanted to discuss how to go proceed. McGee wasn’t a surgeon, so he wasn’t going to participate in the eventual surgery. He was there to act as a translator, and as support for the family. He would be present at the meetings prior to the surgery, so he would know every aspect of the plan, to be able to properly explain to the family what will be happening. 

Karev started. “I think when it comes to the girl, the first thing we'll do is rescreen her. Test all her blood work again. Confirm that the tests carried out in India are correct and that nothing has changed. And we'll decide from there.” 

“We need to decide who we're bringing on,” Shepherd said.

“Yes,” Karev said. “We will need a team of thirty, nurses and anaesthesiologists included. Grey, Shepherd, you’ll choose co-surgeons. You’ll need to ask them if they're willing to work pro bono. Can you try to do that today? I’ll sort out the rest of the team.” 

 

The meeting they had yesterday had been a short one, mostly just to get the history of the family. Today, the family would check into the paediatric ward. Meredith had an early shift this morning. She had let the kids stay with Maggie at Jackson’s place the night before, and Maggie would take them to school. This was much easier when Maggie and Amelia lived in the house. Somewhere over the last few months, both of them had more or less unofficially moved out. She had left at 6:30, leaving a sleeping Andrew in her bed. It was the first time she had done that, letting him stay. It felt strangely right to leave him there, to let him sleep in her bed. Have a shower in her shower. Make himself coffee in her kitchen. Make himself breakfast from her food. She imagined him in her home while she walked through the corridors of the hospital, him in the shower, soapy and we...  _ No, don’t go there now, you don’t have the time for that today. Stay focused. _ She met Karev, Shepherd and McGee outside the family’s room, and they walked in together.

The girl, Anika, was sitting awkwardly on the bed with the torso of the twin in front of her between her legs. Her legs were splayed out to her sides with the parasitic twins lying dead underneath her own. She wore just a yellow dress; pants, or even underpants, were not made for a body like hers. She had a brother, maybe a year older than her, Meredith guessed. The mother, who McGee introduced as Asmita, was sitting on edge of the bed looking lovingly at her daughter, carefully detangling the girl’s unruly hair. The father, Jevesh, a skinny looking man, was standing by the foot of the bed. He looked up and greeted McGee when they came in. The family was nicely dressed in bright colours. Meredith supposed they wanted to make a good impression and not to appear as poor as they really were.

Karev introduced them, and McGee translated. Karev explained what would be happening over the next few days. The father went up to each one of them, and he bowed and shook their hands, saying something in his own language that McGee translated into: “You are a godsend. Thank you.” 

“We will be joined by four more surgeons. Dr. Miranda Bailey and Dr. Jo Karev will be working with me,” Meredith said.

“And Dr. Tom Koracick and Dr. Andrew DeLuca will be joining me,” Amelia said.

“A nurse will be with you shortly to take Anika to get her blood work done,” Alex said to the father.

 

McGee stayed with the family while the others stepped outside the room. 

“How did you get Koracick to join? He doesn’t seem the type…” Meredith asked Amelia. She was genuinely curious. She closed the door to the room behind them.

“I appealed to his ego.” Amelia chuckled. “I can’t do this without your superior skills,” Amelia said in a mock voice. Meredith chuckled.

“So, we’ll meet on Monday to discuss how we’ll proceed when we have the results,” Karev said before walking away.

Amelia turned to walked off, but Meredith grabbed her arm. “You asked DeLuca to join?” she asked quietly, not sure how she felt about it.

“Yeah,” Amelia said. She looked around for a second, lowering her voice. “I knew you weren’t going to ask him, because of… you know…” she made a gesture at Meredith, indicating their relationship. “But he is really great with kids.”

“I’m not sure it’s such a great idea… This is a big case.” Meredith felt uncertain.

“He is a good doctor, Mer. It will be fine,” Amelia said reassuringly. She left, leaving Meredith standing with her thoughts. 

_ Shit, shit, shit… Meredith, you are a professional, you can work with Andrew, it will be fine. He’s not even working with me, he’s working with Amelia and Koracick. And Amelia is right, he is great with kids. He does deserve to be in on the case. I’m glad Amelia picked him. I couldn’t have. Conflict of interest… You are a professional, Meredith. Andrew promised you that he could keep things separate. You have no reason to mistrust that. _

That Friday would become one of those nights where you start questioning whether leaving the bed that morning was a good idea or not. Meredith had been stuck running between the ER and the OR for the rest of her twelve-hour-shift-turning-into-a-sixteen-hour-shift, barely getting a minute to eat or pee. There had been a massive collision on the highway, 8 cars involved. Internal bleeding, metal stuck in various body parts, gaping wounds. She ended up working close with Andrew.

In the beginning of every new relationship, there are a lot of ‘firsts’. First dinner, first kiss, first sex, not always in that order. Tonight was the first night working together. It wasn’t just Andrew assisting on small cases here and there, running errands, but really working together. Both equally arms deep, figuratively and literally, in the patients they’re handling. 

They were in the OR. It was the two of them, a couple of nurses and an anaesthesiologist. It was all the personnel that could be spared on a hectic night like this. The patient, a 40-year-old male with abdominal trauma caused by blunt force. They had opened the patient’s abdominal region, below the sternum, to the lower abdomen. The incision was held open with self-restraining retractors. It was a mess; the patient was rapidly losing blood into the abdominal cavity. Andrew was frantically packing the cavity with gauze, attempting to control the bleeding. Meredith was trying to assess the situation, find where they needed to start.

“What do we got, Dr. DeLuca?” she asked.

Andrew stopped packing for a moment to look over the injured organs. “Grade 4 liver injury and grade 2 spleen injury.” 

“And what should we do?”

“Damage control,” he said, taking a second to assess what he was observing. “To control the haemorrhage, we should do a four-quadrant packing. We should start with the spleen. The liver is a more significant organ, but the spleen is easier accessed. Get the spleen under control and out, then get to the liver,” Andrew said.

“Good. Take the lead,” Meredith said.

“Me?” Andrew said, surprised. “But I…”

“You know what to do.” Meredith’s eyes smiled at him over the mask. “Now, save the patient.”

Andrew took a deep breath. “Cauterization.” He was given the burner tool by a nurse. “Hold here.” He asked Meredith to hold the intestines away from the spleen, so he could reach properly. He started burning through the tissue. Reaching further in, the bleeding picked up, rapidly filling up the cavity. “Gauze.” Andrew said, holding out his hand, not letting his eyes divert from the spleen. He was given gauze from the nurse next to him. He packed several pieces of gauze around the organ, eyes searching for the origin of the bleeding.

“I found the bleeding. Sutures.” Andrew was handed a pair of forceps holding a suture needle. He put in two stitches, stopping the bleeding. Deciding to leave the rest of the packing on the spleen for later, he moved over to the other side of the patient’s abdomen, finding the liver. The liver was covered in blood. “I can’t find the bleeding. I don’t see it. It’s too much blood…?” Andrew felt uncertain.

“Use your fingers. Can you feel the bleeding?” Meredith asked calmly, while removing blood with the suction, keeping the amount of blood at an even level, through the haemorrhaging.

Andrew carefully moved his fingertips over the liver, trying to navigate the liver. Suddenly he felt something, a small opening in the liver. Exposing the wound made it bleed quicker.

“There! It’s bleeding out too quickly.” Andrew felt a slight panic, a little bit out of his comfort zone.

“Put your finger in it. It’ll stop the bleeding while you prepare the suture,” Meredith said calmly.

Andrew did, and the bleeding subsided. Andrew was handed the forceps with the needle again.  

“Liver is fully mobilized. I’ll start the four-quadrant packing. Gauze.” He started packing the liver from four sides, to stop the non-arterial bleeding. Andrew started to relax, feeling he had done good work. But he relaxed a little too soon. The monitors started beeping hectically. "BP is dropping, “ a nurse said.

Andrew froze.

“The patient is bleeding, Dr. DeLuca. What do you do?” Meredith asked in an authoritative voice.

Andrew stood frozen, panicked, frantically thinking.

“What do you do?” Meredith asked again.

Andrew stared at the surgical area.

“Dr. DeLuca!” Meredith raised her voice. “Now. What do you do?”

Andrew snapped out it, meeting Meredith’s eyes. Thinking. He got it.

“Temporary Pringle, “ he said. “The hepatic vein was traumatized.” Andrew used large forceps to clamp the hepatoduodenal ligament, the small area connecting the liver with the small intestine. He successfully interrupted the flow of blood coming from the artery. The beeping stopped, indicating that the patient’s heart rate went back to normal. Using a surgical clip around the area the forceps were holding, he was able to remove them without further blood loss. He finished up the packing.

“Perihepatic packing complete,” Andrew said.

The liver looked very snug and cozy packed in all the white gauze. Strange thing to see. Together, Andrew and Meredith wrapped all the abdominal organs in a surgical plastic. Andrew closed the patient and the nurses took him to the ICU.

“We’ll re-open in two days,” Meredith said while they walked back down to the ER. “Good work, DeLuca.”

“Thank you, Dr. Grey,” Andrew said. He was tired, drained. The last few hours had been hectic, to say the least. It was nearing midnight, and the ER had calmed down. All the patients from the accident had been treated or were in surgery. 

“I need sleep…” he said.

“Me, too. I’m too tired to drive home,” Meredith said, knowing driving this tired would be equivalent to driving under the influence. “On-call room?” she asked.

Andrew nodded. Strange how you get used to something so quickly. She had slept next to Andrew for only a week, and she found herself not wanting to sleep alone, not even at the hospital.  

They made their way to the nearest on-call room, too tired to look over their shoulder before they walked into the room, if anyone would notice. Not that it was that unusual for two doctors to sleep in the same room during shifts. But keeping secrets can make you paranoid.

The room had two bunk beds. Meredith climbed up to the top bunk and laid on her side facing the wall. Andrew followed, laying down behind Meredith. He sneaked his arm underneath her neck, pulling her close to him. He kissed the back of her head and then they both drifted off to sleep.                         

 


	4. after the weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to Meangirlsx at tumblr for edit my stories, and de-scandie-fy my english

“Mr. Glass. How are you feeling?” Meredith was talking to the patient from Friday night. He was gradually waking up. “I’m Dr. Grey. You were in a car accident, do you remember that?”

The patient slowly shook his head, confused. He tried to move, to sit up. He grimaced in pain. Meredith laid a hand on the patient’s shoulder, as a comforting gesture.

“You had internal bleeding. We needed to operate. I’m sorry, but we had to keep you in an induced coma for a couple of days. You were operated on again this morning.” Meredith checked his IV. “If you need anything, just press this button here,” she pointed to the red button by the side of the bed, “and a nurse will be right with you.”

 

Meredith looked at the watch on her arm, 11:30. All of Anika’s tests had been carried out over the weekend, and Karev had set up a meeting with all the staff involved. The purpose of the day was to set up a plan for the surgery.

“Hey, Dr. Grey. Are you on your way to the meeting?” Meredith heard someone call from behind her. She turned around. It was McGee.

“Can I walk with you? I can’t seem to find my way around this hospital.” He laughed lightly.

“Sure. I know, it’s a big hospital.” Meredith motioned for him to walk with her.

“Alex said you adopted a girl, from the Africa project?” he asked while they walked.

“Yes, with my husband. He connected with Zola straight away. She’s a wonderful girl.”

“How long have you been married?”

“I was married for six years. My husband died four years ago.” She hadn’t really talked that much to McGee previously, but he had an easy way about him. She felt an instant trust towards him, that she didn’t quite recognise in herself. Meredith wasn’t sure why, maybe because of his involvement in the organisation that gave her her daughter.

McGee looked somewhat horrified from what she had shared, like he had stomped right in the mud.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine. I don’t mind,” she said. “You cleaned up nicely, by the way.” She pointed to his freshly trimmed head. The hair had been cut, and the beard wasn’t as bushy as it had been. He hadn’t taken it completely off but kept a nice-looking shadow.

“Yeah, well, I kept getting stared at. I looked like I had just stepped out of a cave.” He laughed. “And I scared a child.”

“Oh, we can’t have that.” Meredith laughed with him. “Here we are, Mr. McGee,” Meredith said as they rounded the corner to the conference room. He opened the door for her.

“Please, call me Tom.”

“Thank you, Tom.” Meredith stepped in to the room. Her eyes met Andrew’s. He had turned his head when the door opened. He was sitting at an oval table with Amelia and Koracick. On the other side, Jo was seated. Bailey and Karev had yet to turn up. Meredith went around the table to sit next to Jo.

“He’s cute,” Jo said to Meredith, nondiscrete. “And on a first name basis already. That bodes well?”

Meredith shot her a look. She could feel Andrew’s eyes on her. She decided to ignore them both.

Karev and Bailey walked into the room. Bailey handed each of them a pad containing Anika’s chart.

“Good, you’re all here.” Karev stood at the head of the table. “Then we can start right away. We now have the results of Anika’s last screening. So, what I want us to do today is discuss different approaches and set up a plan.”

Bailey continued. “Anika is one of a pair of ischiopagus conjoined twins. The other one is headless. Its head had withered in the womb, making the twin a parasite. If not separated, the parasite will drain all the energy from Anika’s heart and she will die before she’s ten.”

Jo raised her hand. “I read the chart from Bangalore, and they have known about the girl since she was two. She’s four now. Why hasn’t anything been done before?”

McGee was the one to answer that question. “Rural people generally have this built-in fear of modern medicine. They can’t fathom the long operative procedures. I have had to spend countless time counseling them, gaining their trust. In India, superstition and religious beliefs all intermingle, especially amongst the rural people. Therefore, it is not surprising she has been cast as a goddess incarnate. The village elders have been very reluctant to let her have the surgery. They are afraid it will cause a bad effect on the village, that it will cause a curse operating on whom they believe to be a god.”

“But that’s the parents’ decision, not the village elders.” Jo felt an anger rise in her.

“No, in these communities it’s not the parent’s decision. Each village is its own family, and the elders make the decision for the rest of the family.”

“That’s insane,” Jo shot out.

“No, that’s a different culture,” Meredith said, looking at McGee. He nodded in affirmation.

Andrew spoke up. “Something I don’t get… You said you spent almost a year searching for her and found her four months ago. The hospital has known about her for two years. Didn’t the hospital know where the family lived?”

“They did, but the family had to move, go into hiding. An ‘entertainment company,’” he made air quotes with his fingers, “wanted to buy the girl. They went as far as trying to steal the girl. That’s why it took so long to find her.”

It was quiet for a moment, while Karev pulled down a screen from the ceiling. He turned on the projector on the table and connected his pad to it. The screen showed the most recent X-ray, taken at Grey-Sloan over the past weekend.

“As you can see,” he said, “the twin’s pelvises form a single combined ring. The parasitic twin's spine and abdomen are merged with Anika’s body. The twins' backbones are joined end-to-end and most of the nerves at that area are entangled. This is why we need the two of you.” He nodded towards Shepherd and Koracick.

Neurosurgery isn’t just about brains. Neurosurgeons are also needed when performing a complicated spinal surgery such as this. Navigating all the different nerves at the bottom of the spine is fine work. No surgeon has the stability needed in their hands as a neurosurgeon.

Karev continued. “Because of the twins joined area, Anika can neither walk nor crawl. This forces her to drag herself around, which now has given her an infected pressure ulcer at the neck of the twin.” A photo of a nasty looking ulcer showed on the screen. “The ulcer has been treated since she was admitted last week. She also has a continuous fever.” Karev swiped his index finger over the pad, and a new document appeared on the screen. It was the results of the blood test.

“Tests show that Anika’s kidney is necrotic: the tissue of the kidney is slowly dying. She will need a new kidney. I will contact UNOS after this meeting. Other than that, the blood work came back fine. There aren’t any other changes since the last tests done in India. If we can get her fever down and treat the ulcer, she should be good to go for surgery.”

“About the kidney…” Andrew said, almost to himself, like he was thinking out loud.

“What about it?” Karev said, somewhat harshly.

Andrew shook his head, like he was shaking something of himself, and straightened himself up. “I was thinking… How’s the twin’s kidney?”

Meredith smiled at him. “I see where you’re going with this.” She looked down on the chart. “The twin’s kidney is fully functioning.”

“Can we give the twin’s healthy kidney to Anika?” he asked.

Bailey looked down at her pad. “We should be able to do that.”

The meeting lasted for another couple of hours, setting up an operative plan. They had decided to start with an abdominal operation, to remove the parasite's abdominal organ. After which they would remove Anika’s kidney and replace it with the parasite’s. The blood vessels supplying the parasite should be tied off at that point. They had also found that Anika’s reproductive system and urinary bladder were not located in the abdominal region as they should be, but rather further down between the twins. These would be moved to the correct site. They estimated that the surgery would take about eight hours. This part of the surgery was what Meredith would lead.

The next part was Shepherd’s: amputation of the parasite's legs at the hip joints and cut at the joined back bone. That was the most crucial part of the surgery, as a tiny mistake could cause paralysis. Meredith’s team would get a break during that time. There was no estimate for how long Shepherd’s team would have to be in there. There was no way of telling how severe the nerve entanglement was until they got in there. It could be anywhere between six to ten hours.

After that, Meredith’s team would come back and both teams would take part in the complete separation and the external fixation. The external fixation would be to hold the parts of the pelvis in place, to make it possible for the girl to some day walk. In total, the surgery was estimated to take about 30 hours.

“What are Anika’s survival expectations?” McGee asked.

“We estimate 80 percent, which is pretty good,” Karev answered. “She will need at least one more surgery within the next year. Her own legs, that she has mobility in, are clubfooted. To be able to walk properly, she will have to have corrective surgery. For that, I hope to get Dr. Lincoln, or one of his attendings onboard.”

Karev went to turn the projector off. “Now that we have a plan, Tom, you and I will go and talk to the family now,” Karev said to McGee. “Depending on the ulcer, I suspect we will be able to operate around Christmas. Don’t make any big plans.”

“Before we part, I would like to say thank you, from myself and the family, for taking off your own time to help this little girl,” McGee said.

…….

Meredith sat by one of the computers in the reception area, catching up on paperwork. She had sneaked headphones in her ears, hidden by her hair. She lost herself in music and paperwork. A couple of hours went by.

She felt more than saw someone watching her. She looked up. Andrew smiled at her. He stood leaning against the reception desk, arms casually crossed. She took the headphones out, letting them hang from her scrub collar. “How long have you been standing there?” she asked him, suspecting it had been longer than when she’d noticed him there.

“A couple of minutes. You look so beautiful when you’re working. You get this cute little line right here when you concentrate.” He pointed his index finger between her eyebrows. His finger was warm. _He is always warm._ Meredith’s eyes scanned the room to see if anyone was paying attention to them. They weren’t. It was late afternoon, the magical hour, between the day rush from admitted patients and the evenings rush from the ER. Andrew drew an invisible line over her eyebrow with his finger. He continued around her ear, tucking her hair behind it, the way he had done so many times before.

“Andrew…” she said. “Not here.” She smiled at him anyway.

“No one is looking at us,” he answered.

She liked that about Andrew, his confidence. His willingness to put himself out there. He respected her boundaries, but still carefully tried to stretch them a little further every day. His warm eyes were on her, and only her. There was a tingling flutter in her belly from him looking at her. She looked back down on the computer screen.

“How do you work this week? Any days off?” he asked her.

“I got Saturday off, why?”

“I wanted to ask you out, on a date.”

“We’ve been on dates before. You haven’t really asked me before…” She furrowed her brows.

“I mean a real date, at a nice restaurant, maybe take a trip to Winterfest at Seattle Center.” He stretched over the desk so he could whisper in her ear. “I want to spend a day spoiling you,” he purred. Something in his voice gave her shivers in the back of her neck. His beard tickled her chin when he slowly straightened himself up again.

“With what money?” She joked, attempting to ignore the shiver.

“With my winnings from the bet the other week.” He grinned.

“I’ll see if I can get a sitter…”

“Meredith, hey!” McGee walked towards the desk. “DeLuca, right?” He asked Andrew when he came up to the desk. He turned to Meredith. “Do you know where I can find a post office? I have a couple of gifts to send to my cousins before Christmas.”

“There should be one at the city center.”

“Where’s that? I don’t really Seattle.”

“You should get Alex to show you around,” Meredith suggested.

“Maybe you could. And I could get a chance to pick your brain. I bet you have a lot of interesting stories.” McGee was leaning his torso against the desk. Andrew stood watching the exchange, not sure if he liked what he saw. McGee was flirting with Meredith, but she didn’t seem to be aware that he was.

“I have charts to write.” She nodded her head to the computer in front of her.

McGee turned to Andrew. “What about you, DeLuca? Maybe I can pick your brain about her.” He pointed to Meredith.

“I can’t, sorry, work,” Andrew said, not actually sorry. “I can show you where to go on the map down at the main entrance.”

“Thanks, dude. I appreciate it.” McGee threw a man punch at Andrew’s shoulder. Andrew resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He glanced over at Meredith. She had gone back to her charts, headphones in her ears, doing her best to ignore them.

“Let’s go,” Andrew said, walking away. McGee followed him.

Meredith could hear him ask Andrew. “Do you know if she is seeing anyone?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Andrew tried to sound like he didn’t care. Maybe to McGee it sounded careless, but to Meredith, she could hear the slight pain in his voice, having to pretend.

 


	5. some days later

“Coffee?” A to-go cup from the hospital cafeteria appeared in front of Meredith. 

“I asked the girl at the coffee shop if she knew how you like your coffee. Lucky for me, she did.” McGee smiled broadly.

Meredith turned around from the machine she was sat at, and gratefully accepted the cup of hot java. 

“Thanks.” She smelled the steam coming out through the lid.      

He peered over her shoulder, into what appeared to be a screen, but instead of a rectangular screen, it was two smaller circular screens. “What are you doing?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

“I am practicing my skills with the Da Vinci surgery robot.”

“By folding teeny tiny paper airplanes?” He looked skeptically over to the table next to the machine, where six paper airplanes were lying, no bigger than a penny. 

“It’s actually a great way to practice your dexterity. I thought I would prepare before Anika’s surgery. Here, you want to have a try?” Meredith stood up, letting McGee take her place in front of the machine. The Da Vinci surgery robot was actually two machines. One is the console, where you maneuver the arms of the other robot that operates the patients. The second robot has four interactive arms. Three of the arms are claws, only a few millimetres big to hold the surgical tools. The claws are joined to the arms by wrists, that has the same kind of range of movement as a human wrist. The fourth arm holds a small camera. 

“You see these eye holes right here, you will see your piece of paper through there.”

McGee bent his head forward to look at the screen.

“3D. Kind of cool, huh?” Meredith said. “You have the consoles there.” She pointed to the small joysticks underneath the screen. “You put your thumb in the inside ring, like this.” She placed his thumb in the inside ring of the joystick. “And your long finger here.” She placed his long finger in the outside ring. McGee looked down at Meredith’s hands on his. 

“You have full range of motion, clamping, cutting, anything you would like the arms to do. There…” she pointed to the floor, “ou have two pedals. One of them is for the third arm and the other is for the camera. Give it a try.”

“Okay…” Somewhat uncertain, he tried moving his hands, clamped his fingers together, and made a whirling motion with both hands. The claws made a couple of clapping sounds and the arms whirled around. “Whoa!!” McGee pulled his hands out in a panic. Meredith laughed.

“Its fine. It happens. Try again, slower this time. Smaller movements,” Meredith instructed. Looking over his shoulder, she saw him slowly maneuver the arms, with tiny movements from his hands, twisting and turning, clamping and trying to smooth out the folds of the paper. It wasn’t easy. He would pick up the paper only to lose it while trying to maneuver the other arm to press in a fold. He kept going for another fifteen minutes, swearing from time to time, whenever he would drop the paper.

“There, I think that’s the best I can do….” he said, turning around in the chair and looking at Meredith. She went over to the table to pick up the plane. She started laughing.

“This has to be the most lopsided plane I’ve ever seen.” She gave it to McGee, who studied his work. In some alternative universe it could probably have been a plane: the main middle fold was not in the middle, but rather middle of the left side, the tip fold was smaller on the right side than it was on the left side. Impressive, seeing as the right side had more available paper than on the left side.

“Hey, that is my first try though.” He tried sounding serious but failed by laughing. He put the paper plane in the breast pocket of his shirt. “I can see now why you practice. You are very good at this,” he said softly. He held her eyes for a moment.

Meredith felt slightly uneasy by his gaze. She mentally shook it off, looking at her watch on her wrist. 

“Lunch time…” she said, walking around the robot, pressing the stow button. The robot started beeping, pulling the arms in and shrinking to a smaller size. She held the button on the handle and drove it into the wall next to the console.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, getting up from his chair. “I could do with some food myself.”

“I suppose that’s fine,” Meredith said, pressing Off on the console.

“So… what do you use this robot for? What was the name of it again?” McGee asked, as they walked out of the room.

Meredith turned around and locked the door.

“Da Vinci robot. We use it mainly for abdominal surgeries. Mostly used to remove tumours. Its been found that removing tumours with minimally invasive surgery gives a faster recovery than an open surgery does. That’s especially favorable with cancer patients where the immune system isn’t as strong,” Meredith explained. “Though the area of use is being broadened. Just a little while ago, in Sweden they did a uterus transplant using the Da Vinci robot. First transplant ever using the robot. Think of the possibilities,” she said, excited.

\--

They sat at one of the tables at the window. Between bites, they were talking about the robot, and how far medicine has come. McGee wasn’t a doctor, he was just a guy who wanted to help kids, as he put it. Karev had told her he had a special way about him. He could talk anyone into anything, and he used that gift to convince people to donate money for surgeries for children. Meredith enjoyed talking to him. Conversation flowed naturally. She was comfortable around him. She was genuinely curious about what he did. 

“You know, I read about you. The abdominal wall transplants you did. It’s incredible, you are incredible,” McGee said. “I am so glad to have you onboard with Anika’s separation.” 

“I’m glad to be able to help. And I am so grateful for this organization you work for,” Meredith answered honestly. “I wouldn’t have Zola if it wasn’t for them. How is it you know so much about medicine?” 

“I read a lot of medical journals. Medicine fascinates me, and with what I do, it’s good to have a general knowledge.” He took another bite of his sandwich. “I also read you’re Ellis Grey’s daughter. How was that, growing up with such a brilliant mother?”

“Hell,” Meredith said, before shoving a fork with iceberg lettuce and chicken in her mouth. 

“I-I’m sorry,” McGee stammered. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s fine,” she said neutrally. “I guess the medical journals didn’t talk about the family dynamics at the Grey household.”

“No.” He chuckled lightly.

She sighed. “I’m fine with it... I think at some point you get tired of being angry, and just accept how things have been. It wasn’t great. It is what it is, and you can’t change the past.”

“That’s a healthy way of looking at it.” McGee felt somewhat uncertain if this was a topic Meredith would want to talk about.

“I don’t usually talk about it. I don’t like talking about it.” 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” McGee said, understanding.

Meredith was quiet for a moment, thinking. Did she want to talk about it? Usually she didn’t. Something about Tom McGee made Meredith want to open up to him, but why, she couldn’t figure out. 

“I was angry for a long time,” she started. ”Angry with my mother, for choosing surgical success over her child. Angry with myself for feeling this way, when she was saving lives. Angry with my father for not standing up to her, for staying away.”  Meredith’s voice was completely neutral. She wasn't feeling any anger, she was just stating what had been. “Angry for only being ordinary, for not being what she expected me to be. She managed to alienate everyone around her until there was only me left, leaving me alone to deal with her illness.” 

“If there is anything you are not, it is ordinary. But I get it, anger eats you up inside...” McGee said sympathetically. “I can understand that, anger made me leave England. That’s how I ended up working for this organization.”

“Anger made you save children?” Meredith raised an eyebrow.

“Not per se. But it made me go out into the world. It made me travel and the travels got me to ‘Children of the world,” McGee explained.

“Are you still angry?” 

“No. Like you, I’ve made my peace with it.”

“Do you mind if I ask why you were angry?” she asked carefully.

“No. I think in a way you and I have grown up quite similarly,” McGee said.

Meredith was curious as to what he meant.

“I mean, it is very different, but still almost the same... My mother was an alcoholic. My father was also absent,” he told her. Meredith could hear that he was trying to sound neutral, but there was something else in his voice he was trying to hide. “Like you, I have been angry about my mother’s addiction, her choosing alcohol over being a mother. She, as well, managed to alienate everyone around her. She still does.”

“Do you still have a relationship with her?” Meredith asked.

“Yes, she has been sober for the last twenty years. We have a functioning relationship, more like friends than parent and child. I think taking away the feeling of how my mother should have been, and accepting that she will never be a mother, is the only way I can have a relationship with her.”

“I see what you mean when you say it’s similar,” Meredith said thoughtfully, chewing on the last bit of her salad.

“There are also differences. Where your mother wanted you to be more than ordinary, my mother never wanted me to be anything but ordinary. I don’t think she wanted me to be more than she was. I remember when I was in my late twenties, and I had finally decided to go to university in London. I was so happy when I had been accepted, and I called her to tell her the news. She just asked ‘why?’. Why would I go to Uni? Why would I move so far away? Why wasn’t the life I had good enough?” McGee didn’t seem aware of how the words were pouring out of him.

Meredith suspected he wasn’t as at peace with his past as he would make himself out to be. She didn’t feel it was her business to call him out on it, though. Everyone deals with experiences differently, maybe this was his way of dealing with his past. If you keep saying you’re all right with it, maybe someday you will be.

“I’m sorry, I’m rambling.” He gave her a look of realization. 

“Don’t worry about it. Do you still talk to your mother?” she asked him.

“We talk a few times a month. I think she was hurt by me going out into the world. But she has come to terms with it. This is how it is now. I go back home a couple of times a year.”

Meredith looked at the clock on the cafeteria wall. Almost 1:00 pm. She started putting her lunch tray back in order, glass and cutlery on the side of the plate. She threw her napkin in the middle of the plate.

“I have to get back to work. I have some post-op I have to do, and I thought I would check in on Anika, see how that ulcer is healing.” Meredith stood up. “Thank you for the company.” She smiled at him before she turned to leave.

….

Through the window to Anika’s room, Meredith saw Andrew playing with the girl. Andrew had ended up with the ‘everyday’ care for Anika, partly because he was only a resident among attendings, but also because of his connection to children. Amelia had thought Andrew would be the best person to make the girl feel more at home at the hospital, make her more at ease with the new surroundings and impressions. She stood outside the window for a few minutes, watching him. He was holding a large rubber band between his fingers, making different shapes with it, sometimes urging Anika to move the band to another finger.  _ He does have a way with kids, Amelia was right about that.  _ She could hear Andrew and the girl talking to each other. Though they both spoke different languages and couldn’t understand each other, they seemed to enjoy the conversation. Anika was beaming at Andrew. Among all the people that Anika and her family had met over the last few weeks, Andrew was the one who took the proper time to involve the girl, talking directly to her, not caring about the language barrier. Meredith could well understand that the girl saw a hero in Andrew.

Andrew looked up and met Meredith’s gaze. He smiled. Meredith took this as her cue to walk into the room. Javesh stood up as Meredith entered the room. 

“Hello, Dr. Grey. How are you?” He greeted her in a heavy accented English and shook her hand with both of his. Asmita sat in the window with Anika’s brother, trying to entertain him. Meredith suspected it must be boring for the boy to be stuck in the hospital all day, when he would be used to running around free outside at home. She made a mental note to bring a couple of Bailey’s old toys for him to play with next time.

“I’m good, Javesh, how are you?” she answered him. Javesh told her he had asked McGee to teach him some English. He wanted him and his family to be more independent in this new country they would be staying in for some time now. Meredith smiled, understanding. She turned her attention to Andrew, who was still playing with Anika.

“How’s our patient?” she asked him, looking at Anika’s chart on the pad.

“Ani-katten is doing better; the fever went down a few days ago.” Anika smiled at Andrew, recognizing her new nickname. “We’ve been treating the pressure ulcer with hydrocolloid dressing. At the rate the ulcer is healing, she should be good to go for surgery by the end of the week. I’ve talked to Dr. Karev and he is planning for Saturday.” 

Meredith walked up to the bed where Anika was sitting, playing with the rubber band, trying to wrap the band around her small fingers like Andrew had showed her. Meredith bent down to have a closer look at the pressure ulcer at the twin’s neck. She carefully lifted the dressing. The inflammation had reduced drastically over the last week. Andrew was right, the ulcer would be completely healed within a few days. There was just a thin layer of scabbing left. Though the area had a redness to it, it looked very promising. She put the dressing back on.

“I agree,” she said to Andrew as she straightened up again. She turned to Javesh. “It looks good. We will talk to Dr. Karev, but it looks like we’ll schedule the surgery for the weekend.”

Javesh nodded. Meredith wasn’t sure if he understood everything she had just said, but the proud look in his posture made her believe that he took some pride in that she talked directly to him, understanding or not.

Meredith walk out of the room, and Andrew followed her. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Ani-katten?” she asked him, walking out in the corridor.

“A play on her name,” he said. “Katten means ‘the cat’ in Swedish. Anika seem to like the name.” Andrew smiled at her.

Meredith glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “How do you know what cat is in Swedish?” 

“I dated a Swedish girl when I was 17,” he told to her somewhat absentmindedly, as they walked down the corridor. “She loved cats. She was crazy…” 

“I guess we’ll have to cancel Satu…”

Meredith yelped as she suddenly felt herself being pulled into a janitorial closet.

“DeLu... what are you do...” she started to protest before Andrew turned her around and pressed her against the door, his lips were on hers. Desperately, rushed. His usually soft lips had a firm intention to them. His hands were on her, one hand holding her at her neck, the other on her waist, hurriedly moving just above forbidden areas. 

“I made sure no one saw us,” he told her between kisses. His voice was a few octaves darker than normal.

Meredith knew she should stop this. She wasn’t an intern; she was too old to have makeout sessions in the closets. But she didn’t want to stop. She could drown in Andrew’s lips and be perfectly fine with that. Her hands moved of their own accord, rapidly pulling at his shirt, sneaking her hands inside. Her mind was saying they should stop, but her body kept moving on its own.

“Andrew…” she tried when Andrew moved from her lips to her neck. The sound of his name disappeared halfway through saying it. Her heart was beating wildly, her breath heavy. “What…”

“Meredith.” She felt her name vibrate against her neck. “I saw you at lunch with McGee.” He mumbled between kisses on her neck. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He put his leg between hers, almost lifting her off the floor. She relaxed her head against the door, letting Andrew hold her up, enjoying the shivers running over her body from Andrews lips on her neck. 

“You jealous?” she breathed in his ear.

His lips were back on hers, somewhat harsher this time. His hand moved up underneath her shirt, cupping her breast. The hand that had been on her waist had moved around her lower back, it had sneaked inside the hem of the scrub pants, stroking the bare skin of her buttock.

As suddenly as it had started, it stopped. Andrew let go of her. 

“No.” He smiled at her. “I just missed you.” With that, he disappeared through the door, leaving Meredith to try and collect herself.  _ What the actual hell…  _ She straightened out her clothes, and waited another moment before walking out, just in case someone saw Andrew leave.

Meredith peeked her head out of the closet and peered around the door. When she didn’t see anyone, she walked out, still looking behind her. She crashed into Jo Karev.

“Hey… are you coming out of the closet?” Jo asked her, with a half laugh. Meredith laughed somewhat nervously with Jo. 

“Um… yeah... needed to get something…” she lied.

“Get what?” Jo eyed Meredith skeptically, who was holding nothing.

“It wasn’t there,” Meredith said quickly. She made to start walking, somewhere, anywhere, away from here.

“What’s that?” Jo pointed to her neck. Meredith threw her hand up to the spot Jo was pointing. She couldn’t feel anything, but she had a creeping feeling she knew exactly what it was Jo was pointing to.

“Is that a hickey?” Jo said it louder than necessary, probably in both delight and surprise of seeing a hickey on Dr. Grey’s neck. Meredith’s face grew cold. 

“What exactly were you doing in that closet… or rather who were you doing in there? Is he still in there?” Jo turned around and ran back to the closet. Meredith, knowing the closet was empty, took this as her cue to run away.

 


	6. the day before surgery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long to post. I did post two chapter as a way to make up for the wait.  
> unfourtunatly the next chapters will take some time as well...
> 
> proofread by Meangirlsx at tumblr

It was three days before Christmas. Meredith had been assigned to the ER. She was only scheduled for a half day, it being the day before Anika’s separation surgery. The pit was quiet. It felt like half of Seattle had left the city before the holiday. Meredith wasn’t complaining, working early afternoon in the ER wasn’t that bad. 

Only working a few hours, she hadn’t bothered changing into scrubs, she had simply put her white lab coat over her pink blouse and black slacks. To be honest it wasn’t just because of laziness, as she would claim if someone asked. But also, because wearing scrubs and the scarf she had around her neck would look odd, and probably result in more questions.

After she disappeared from Jo the other day, she’d had a look in the mirror at the purple bruise on her neck, caused by Andrew. Over the last couple days, Meredith had tried to avoid Jo like the plague. That had proved difficult, with the last few days’ meetings prior to Anika’s surgery tomorrow. She had felt Jo eyeing her every time she was near. Jo had tried to pry some information out of Meredith, but she refused to talk about anything that didn’t have something to do with the surgery. 

Meredith had a sneaking suspicion Jo had told Alex about the spot on her neck. Last time they spoke, she had noticed Alex’s eyes returning to the left side of her neck. He hadn’t said anything, but his eyes told her more than she needed to know. She knew hiding it underneath a scarf was a bit of a cliché thing to do, but getting a hickey from a closet snog was a bit cliché too.

Meredith sat at the reception desk in the ER, writing up the notes from the last few patients. There had only been minor cases this afternoon, nothing that really required a surgeon. But a surgeon was always required in the ER, and the lot had fallen on Meredith today. Hunt had taken some time off over Christmas to spend with Leo and Betty. Richard, Jackson, and Maggie had taken some time off to be with Catherine. Richard and Jackson had been away for a few weeks now. Maggie had gone to join them over Christmas as well. Meredith felt like the hospital was as empty as Seattle these days, and a half empty city meant a half empty hospital. 

Meredith looked over the desk, out at the people sitting in the waiting area. She had her chin resting on the tips of her fingers, elbows resting on the desk. There was an elderly couple sitting talking quietly about something in the newspaper the wife held. There was a young woman sitting behind the couple, talking loudly about angels to the woman two seats away from her. Meredith wasn’t sure if they knew each other or not. She had a suspicion she was an addict. The way she held herself was the giveaway. Meredith made a note of keeping an eye on her, just in case she got too bothersome. Over by the far wall, there was a teenage girl with her mother. She was dressed in soccer gear, probably an accident during a game. From where Meredith was sitting, it looked like the girl was trying to explain to her mother what had happened. She was gesturing widely and pointing to her hand. Closest to the reception was a young couple. The girl had come into the ER hopping on one leg. When checking in, she had said she had stepped funny and tripped, and when the pain hadn’t reduced in the last few hours, they had decided to have it checked. Meredith liked watching them interact with each other. They seemed happy, cuddly, carefree. The boyfriend entertained her with various impressions of Yoda and Scooby Doo. Lost in thoughts about carefree youth, the nurse had to say her name twice before Meredith registered she was called at.

“I have a boy with a skin rash on his face. Could you take a look?” the nurse asked her. “They’re in examination Room Three.”

Meredith got up and walked over the room the boy and his father were in. Meredith remembered them from when they checked in a couple of hours ago. She knocked on the open door. The boy and his father were sitting on a small couch next to the desk. The boy was watching cartoons on an iPad.

“Hello,” she said. “I’m Dr. Grey.” She pulled up the desk chair across from the boy and sat down. She held out her hand. The boy took it and said his name was Liam.

“Nice to meet you, Liam. How old are you?” she asked him.

“Seven.” The boy seemed very nervous. Meredith suspected this was his first trip to a hospital.

“Seven is a great age. I loved being seven.” She smiled at him. “So why are you here today?” she asked him. Liam pointed to his cheek. 

“It’s a bit red, isn’t it? How long have you had it?” she asked him.

“A-a few days,” he answered.

“And when it first started, did you have any scratches or anything like that?” She reached her hand out to carefully turn the boys head slightly away, so she could get a better look. Meredith could clearly see this wasn’t a skin rash, but rather a nasty infection. The boy’s cheek and under eyelid were swollen, and there was redness around the infected area. 

“On Wednesday night… I was scratching it a little bit…  and… in the morning, it looked… “ He trailed off, clearly a bit scared of being at the hospital.

“Okay. You’re doing good.” She praised him. “Can you see okay out of your eyes?” Meredith stood up and walked closer to the boy. She sat down on her knees in front of him.

“Yeah…” Meredith looked up into the boy’s eyes.

“Does it hurt behind the eye?” She pointed to her own eye, just below the bottom lid, indicating where there should be pain if he had any.

“No,” the boy answered, a little bit more confidently now.

“That’s good. Does it hurt when you move your eyes.” She held up a finger for him to follow, moving it from the left to the right, up and down. Liam followed with his gaze.

Thinking for a second, flickering his eyes back and forth a couple of times more, he told her no, it didn’t.

“You did good, Liam,” she told him. She turned to the father. “It’s not a skin rash. I suspect it is an infection, possibly eczema, but I think it’s more likely an infection due to the scratching. I think since it is getting progressively worse, the sensible thing would be for us to do some blood tests.” She stood up. “And we’ll give a dose of antibiotics through a drip, while we wait for the results from the tests.” Turning back to Liam, she said, “What do you think about that?”

The boy nodded.

“I’ll get one of the nurses to come and do that, all right?” 

“You-you won’t do it?” Liam asked, suddenly looking scared again. Meredith sat down in front of the boy again.

“Is it your first time at the hospital?” she asked him softly.

The boy’s head had sunken down his neck, like he was trying to disappear through the ground. He nodded.

“Do you want me to take your blood test?” Liam nodded again. She smiled calmly at him. “Okay. I’m just going to get my kit. Do you like lollipops?” Liam nodded again, looking slightly happier at the thought of candy. “I’ll be right back.”

Walking out of the room, Meredith met Karev and McGee.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey, Alex is giving me a tour of the hospital. I finally managed to pry him away from his desk,” McGee said cheerfully.

“It’s about time,” Meredith joked, walking past them. “You been here for some weeks now.”

 

Meredith came back shortly after with a kit to take blood. “Liam, if you would come and sit here, could you do that for me?” She patted the gurney, aware of McGee and Karev watching her work through the window. “Bring your iPad.”

Liam came over and hopped up on the gurney. He sat with the pad awkwardly in his lap.

“I’m going to put a tight bracelet around your arm, okay. You just watch your iPad.” She tied a blue elastic around his wrist. While she took the injection needle out of its packaging, she noticed Liam look very pale. “You’re feeling sick?” she asked him, concern in her voice.

“Yeah…” He looked away from the needle.

“It will be over in a moment,“ she reassured him.

Meredith had done these many times before. She had the needle in the back side of his hand in a couple of seconds. Normal procedure would be to take blood from the crook of the arm, but as Liam looked close to passing out, she decided to make the process shorter for him, taking the blood from the injection needle in his hand, then give him the antibiotics through the same needle.

“Keep looking at your iPad,” she said as she connected the vial to the needle. The pouring blood quickly filled the vial up. She removed the vial and turned it upside down a couple of times before connecting the drip to the needle. Meredith put a gauze dressing over the injection needle, so only the plastic tube was visible from his hand. 

“It’s safe to look now,” she told Liam.

He cautiously looked over to his bandage covered hand, still looking very pale.

“I don’t feel good…” He rubbed his other hand over his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Meredith said. “It will make you better though, I promise.” She stroked his shoulder in comfort. Liam’s dad came up from the couch and sat next to his son on the bed. Liam leaned against his dad, closing his eyes.

“I know it’s a small comfort now, but I did bring you a lollipop.” She brought up a blue lollipop from her coat pocket and gave it to Liam, who carefully took it in his hand. He just held it. “You can save it for later when you feel better. You can lie down on the bed for a while, okay, Liam?” Meredith stood up and pulled off her gloves. She quickly gathered the rest of the kit and the blood vial. “I’ll be back in a little while, okay, Dad?”

Meredith handed the blood test over to a nurse to bring it up to the lab. She was called to the next patient, the girl who had stepped funny.

….

Walking out of the hospital after her shift ended, she thought about the boy, Liam. The test results had showed that the infection on his cheek had been quite bad. He had looked somewhat better when she came back with the results. Sucking on the lollipop, making his lips and probably tongue very blue. She had told them she wanted to admit him to the pediatric ward, where he would continue with the antibiotics for a couple of days. She told them he would likely be back home in time for Christmas day.

Meredith walked quickly towards the parking lot. She was in a hurry. She needed to pick up her kids, get them some dinner, and then drop them of at the sitter’s. They would spend the next two nights at Mrs. Johnson’s. After dropping her kids off,  she would go to bed. She planned on at least ten hours’ worth of sleep before the morning. Anika’s surgery was planned for tomorrow at 9:00 am, and for the following 30 something hours. While she walked, she was rummaging through her shoulder bag, looking for her car keys. She heard footsteps running behind her, calling her name. She turned around and saw McGee coming towards her.

“Hey, I don’t have time to talk right now. I’m in a hurry,” she said.

“It will only take a second,” he said. “I just wanted to say I think your fantastic, how you helped that boy today.”

“Oh… that was nothing, it’s just what you do…” she said, almost confused.

The following events happened so fast, Meredith hardly got any time to react. McGee came closer to her,scooped her head in his hands, and bent down to kiss her. It took a second for Meredith to react. For a moment her mind went blank. For a moment she had a flash of something familiar that had happened before, not so long ago.  _ Andrew _ . Then she came to again. She put her hands on his shoulders, pushing him away.

“Wha...” she started, before seeing Andrew standing some distance away. She saw his face turn from questioning to anger. He turned on his heel and walked away. She let go of McGee’s shoulders, and walked around him towards Andrew.

“DeLuca!” she called after him. “DeL... Andrew!” She ran a few steps after him, before realizing it was no use, he would be gone before she could catch up to him. “Andrew,” she called, slightly lower now, feeling somewhat hopeless. Andrew disappeared through the hospital doors. She turned back to McGee.

“What the hell was that?” She was angry, furious.

McGee stood dumbfounded.

“I-I... “

“What?”

“I’m sorry, I’ve just misread...” 

“Misread what?” 

“The signals... I thought there was a connection?” he stuttered. He seemed genuinely confused.

“There haven’t been any signals. There isn’t a connection.” Meredith raised her voice, the anger bubbling quickly inside her. 

“If I had known you were seeing someone...”

“You what? You wouldn’t have taken the liberty to step into my personal space?” Meredith was fuming. Not necessarily directly because of the kiss, but more for the thought that she might just have lost Andrew. She hadn’t until this moment really realized, correction, wanted to realize, how deeply she cared about him. The thought of not having him in her life like this anymore because of McGee made her furious. But she was mostly furious at herself more than anything else.  _ I should have let him in. Why did I have to keep him at arm’s length? He doesn’t deserve that. Why have I been so afraid I would lose him? Would my demons really have driven him away? Maybe it doesn’t matter? Maybe I just lost him anyway? _

“Yes, I am seeing someone. I am seeing him.” Meredith shot her hand in the direction of where Andrew had left. “And I might just have lost him.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. The sentence almost disappeared, she said it so quietly.

“I have to go.” Meredith started walking towards her car. She could barely hear McGee calling “I’m sorry” behind her.

 


End file.
